Why women never fall in love with nice men?

There is a dating cliché circulating for quite some time: "Women don’t fall for the “nice guy"! In conversations with single men, on dating forums and online guides, you listen to and read such statements again and again, presented in an offended or accusing way. "Women always claim that they want a nice man, but I am so nice... and no woman falls in love with me," so the reproach to all female singles of the world. And indeed, the anecdotes sound convincing, because every man who considers himself even too nice, has one or more stories in stock, showing that he actually would be the absolute dream man, but one that never gets chosen.

The assumption that women never fall in love with nice men are basically based on a misunderstanding.

Rejected men always only see what they did right. They assume that they have done everything they can to meet the expectations and desires of the women. This is only natural (and vice versa also applies to women). When a relationship, a date, or an overture does not deliver the desired result, they find the error in the women who allegedly do not know what they want. In reality, men often confuse kindness with other traits that are not quite so attractive:

  • Nice ≠ boring When women say they want a nice man, they don’t mean a man who is sitting all day at home and waits for her to come home, so he can cook her dinner and massage her feet. That becomes boring within a very short time. A nice man can have his own friends, hobbies and interests, can do things that have nothing to do with his girlfriend... because these things make him interesting.
  • Nice ≠ agree with everything Just because a man is nice does not mean he must be always and in all matters in complete agreement with his partner. A nice man is distinguished by the ability to understand and respect a different perspective even if he does not share it.
  • Nice ≠ whiny Just by the way some men are complaining shows that they are not really nice but just whiny overly sensitive souls. They have more self-pity than sense of other people's needs and that is not nice at all but selfish.
  • Nice ≠ desperate Sometimes you can suspect that with the lack of success of the men who describe themselves as "too nice", another problem is lurking. Men with low self-esteem and little success with women tend to try their luck with ladies who also judge themself as less attractive. The logic is, they have low expectations anyway and will be happy if a man is nice to them. Apart from the fact that no man does himself a favor if he is trying to win over a woman who is not seriously interested in him, his insincere interest can be rarely concealed for a long time.

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